Bismillah.
One: She
I was down again few days back that I told my mom I really want to go back home on May. Mom didn't say no but she told me to decide for it after the April vacation that I had already planned with my friends. Talking to my mom does soothe my heart. Her gentle silvery voice provides tranquility to anyone who listen to it. She had the same tempo to Prof Muhaya when she gave her piece of mind. I began to grow fear of losing, losing her in my life.
But Prof Muhaya mentioned in one of her radio lecture segments; Takut Dalam Kehidupan that based on verse:
"Do not call onto any beings other than Allah. These are capable of neither benefit it nor harm. To do so is therefore guilty of wrongdoing. When Allah inverts you with an affliction, none can remove it except Him." [Al-Qur'an 10:106-107]
thus for anyone to find protection aside from Him will grow fear of other than Him in his/her heart.
I want to grow stronger and free myself from any fear -including fear of losing someone I love except fear of Him.
Two: He
I thank to Allah for love and attention He give to me through people around me. Recently, I met a man. I have never talked to my mom about any guy and that was the first time I called her, basically to ask her permission, for such purpose. It took me more than 10 years to realize his existence and acknowledge his effort hence only Allah can repay him for his kindness.
Man propose God dispose, things don't always go the way we planned it to be. After the event, there were times I blamed myself for the situation -that I wasn't good enough and that I might be the one who complicated things. Deep down in my heart, I prayed to Him to just let me love Him alone and detach me from any love aside from Him, because Allah, I am really not good at this.
I still don't know how to react to this event except to believe there is hikmah for every single thing that happened in my life. I must admit it is hard to let it go and move on and even to tell myself Allah's plan is the best is not as easy as it sounds to be. But you know your dependency to Him becomes stronger once you lost something you treasure in your life.
Three: I
I am not a brilliant, productive person, perhaps one who made really little progress in her 20s. But mom reminded me two things upon our last conversation;
1. Do things because of Allah.
2. Don't tire yourself for temporary matters.
There are times where I might be able, with Allah's wills, to generate brilliant ideas or theory and such, but most of the times, I am a 23-years-old girl who needs her mom to set her right back to the place. "I am all thankful for me and I am sorry me for the past self-harm I did"
This is one of my self reflection journals and my journey for love -to love and to be loved wisely.
One: She
I was down again few days back that I told my mom I really want to go back home on May. Mom didn't say no but she told me to decide for it after the April vacation that I had already planned with my friends. Talking to my mom does soothe my heart. Her gentle silvery voice provides tranquility to anyone who listen to it. She had the same tempo to Prof Muhaya when she gave her piece of mind. I began to grow fear of losing, losing her in my life.
But Prof Muhaya mentioned in one of her radio lecture segments; Takut Dalam Kehidupan that based on verse:
"Do not call onto any beings other than Allah. These are capable of neither benefit it nor harm. To do so is therefore guilty of wrongdoing. When Allah inverts you with an affliction, none can remove it except Him." [Al-Qur'an 10:106-107]
thus for anyone to find protection aside from Him will grow fear of other than Him in his/her heart.
I want to grow stronger and free myself from any fear -including fear of losing someone I love except fear of Him.
Two: He
I thank to Allah for love and attention He give to me through people around me. Recently, I met a man. I have never talked to my mom about any guy and that was the first time I called her, basically to ask her permission, for such purpose. It took me more than 10 years to realize his existence and acknowledge his effort hence only Allah can repay him for his kindness.
Man propose God dispose, things don't always go the way we planned it to be. After the event, there were times I blamed myself for the situation -that I wasn't good enough and that I might be the one who complicated things. Deep down in my heart, I prayed to Him to just let me love Him alone and detach me from any love aside from Him, because Allah, I am really not good at this.
I still don't know how to react to this event except to believe there is hikmah for every single thing that happened in my life. I must admit it is hard to let it go and move on and even to tell myself Allah's plan is the best is not as easy as it sounds to be. But you know your dependency to Him becomes stronger once you lost something you treasure in your life.
Three: I
I am not a brilliant, productive person, perhaps one who made really little progress in her 20s. But mom reminded me two things upon our last conversation;
1. Do things because of Allah.
2. Don't tire yourself for temporary matters.
There are times where I might be able, with Allah's wills, to generate brilliant ideas or theory and such, but most of the times, I am a 23-years-old girl who needs her mom to set her right back to the place. "I am all thankful for me and I am sorry me for the past self-harm I did"
This is one of my self reflection journals and my journey for love -to love and to be loved wisely.
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