Bismillah.
"Pernah dok mg percaya yang mg boleh ubah seorang lelaki?"
She had this reluctant expression on her face, with the need to manage her attention in between her driving and my bizzare question. "Maksud mg?"
"Aku pernoh hadapi didatangi dia yang berharap dan percaya aku dapat uboh dirinya. I did not believe that I could. But because of the overwhelm expectation, the idea started to get into my head." I crossed my legs.
"You remind me to my past. But it was the other way around. I was with this guy until I decided it was enough and called for a break. He, from a good man, changed overnight. His friends called me, asking for a help. That I needed to stay. For him to be 'a good guy' again. I did not do it. I left him because I realised it was wrong, from the beginning, everything was so wrong and all I wanted was to go back to Him, again." She took a deep breath, driving down a dark road in the city centre.
"Few years passed, some people still care to update about him to me. I found that progressively he became "a man" again at his university, doing this and that good deeds. I am not sure if it is because of another girl, but I am happy for him for who he is now."
She was trying to turn to me unless she was driving. "Your reflection in the mirror reflects who is your partner, they said. I knew I was not a good girl back then that it served as an even strong reason to leave. Because both of us still have a long way to go. If I did stay, he might or might not be the person he is now. But my point is, even without me, he can be a good man. Because that is what he chose to be. He decided to be the kind of person he wanted to be so he did. " She closed her story with a relief sigh.
We were on our way back from attending our friend's wedding at Paka. It was a long exhausting journey, but I was glad that I tagged along. I had witness a marriage that belonged to verse of " a good girl for a good man ".
Here is another thing,
I used to have this kind of thinking, eh kalau semua nak yang baik je macam mana dengan yang ada keinginan nak berubah? Why don't I give a chance to him by accepting him cus I am not even a good girl.
Two things I did wrong from this thinking until I recently read an islamic FB post that sort of had myself back to the thinking.
One, thought that I could change the man although I realised I was not even a good girl. Ibarat tikus membaiki labu.
Second, thought that the man who needed the help when I was the one who needed help. If you do realise that you are not a good girl, be a better person and you will get a better one. Don't go around and lower your value even more.
"Kalau betul the person wants to change, he/she will not go for you and ask for help. He/she should go to the right person instead! Ustaz, ustazah, their parents?"
"If the person came to you, asking for help to repent, right away you have to channel that person to the right teacher. " "so he/she can get the righteous guidance."
Sometimes, you have the right intention but you adopt the wrong approach. Sometimes you want to help someone, when right at the beginning you are the who needed the help.
Okay, I have my mindset straightened up again. I will drop the idea.
At this point of life, I want to "take a good care" of myself, "clean" the mirror so that I can see a better reflection of mine next time.
//I had this post drafted for almost a week. At the first place I didn't think I should tell the world that I want a good man for myself (like everyone does). Guess, sometimes the best thing to do is to straight away tell your dream to the world so it will be more highly to happen.
"Pernah dok mg percaya yang mg boleh ubah seorang lelaki?"
She had this reluctant expression on her face, with the need to manage her attention in between her driving and my bizzare question. "Maksud mg?"
"Aku pernoh hadapi didatangi dia yang berharap dan percaya aku dapat uboh dirinya. I did not believe that I could. But because of the overwhelm expectation, the idea started to get into my head." I crossed my legs.
"You remind me to my past. But it was the other way around. I was with this guy until I decided it was enough and called for a break. He, from a good man, changed overnight. His friends called me, asking for a help. That I needed to stay. For him to be 'a good guy' again. I did not do it. I left him because I realised it was wrong, from the beginning, everything was so wrong and all I wanted was to go back to Him, again." She took a deep breath, driving down a dark road in the city centre.
"Few years passed, some people still care to update about him to me. I found that progressively he became "a man" again at his university, doing this and that good deeds. I am not sure if it is because of another girl, but I am happy for him for who he is now."
She was trying to turn to me unless she was driving. "Your reflection in the mirror reflects who is your partner, they said. I knew I was not a good girl back then that it served as an even strong reason to leave. Because both of us still have a long way to go. If I did stay, he might or might not be the person he is now. But my point is, even without me, he can be a good man. Because that is what he chose to be. He decided to be the kind of person he wanted to be so he did. " She closed her story with a relief sigh.
We were on our way back from attending our friend's wedding at Paka. It was a long exhausting journey, but I was glad that I tagged along. I had witness a marriage that belonged to verse of " a good girl for a good man ".
Here is another thing,
I used to have this kind of thinking, eh kalau semua nak yang baik je macam mana dengan yang ada keinginan nak berubah? Why don't I give a chance to him by accepting him cus I am not even a good girl.
Two things I did wrong from this thinking until I recently read an islamic FB post that sort of had myself back to the thinking.
One, thought that I could change the man although I realised I was not even a good girl. Ibarat tikus membaiki labu.
Second, thought that the man who needed the help when I was the one who needed help. If you do realise that you are not a good girl, be a better person and you will get a better one. Don't go around and lower your value even more.
"Kalau betul the person wants to change, he/she will not go for you and ask for help. He/she should go to the right person instead! Ustaz, ustazah, their parents?"
"If the person came to you, asking for help to repent, right away you have to channel that person to the right teacher. " "so he/she can get the righteous guidance."
Sometimes, you have the right intention but you adopt the wrong approach. Sometimes you want to help someone, when right at the beginning you are the who needed the help.
Okay, I have my mindset straightened up again. I will drop the idea.
At this point of life, I want to "take a good care" of myself, "clean" the mirror so that I can see a better reflection of mine next time.
//I had this post drafted for almost a week. At the first place I didn't think I should tell the world that I want a good man for myself (like everyone does). Guess, sometimes the best thing to do is to straight away tell your dream to the world so it will be more highly to happen.
 |
| ok you can acah membaca but never acah ustazah ok. |
No comments:
Post a Comment