random self patting

Bismillah.

I’m currently in the hotel room with my mom. I have an interview tomorrow and mom is here for some fresh air ( I mean she wanted to keep me company).

I was so determined before that I AM GOING TO DO THIS. But after coming to this far, in this empty space, I have started to doubt myself. Such as “are you ready to leave your home?” “Ur u sure this one is for u?” “What if you have to suffer for another xxx years?”

I mean -i dont even get the job yet but i feel so lonely here. I miss home already tho mom is here by my side. Can i just work close to home???? Can i just keep doing teacher?

No hajar no. If you do that, you are staying at your comfort zone. You are only 23 yrs old this is your only opportunity to explore as much as you can and GROW. When you are 30ish with no experience you will have it even harder to grow.

I know im going to cry again in the toilet missing home and demotivated. But let it be. Let your tears be your witness for your struggling to grow. Let those tears speak for you in the hereafter. Let those tears build your strength.

Phew. What a complicated girl we have here. The one with full of fears.

Let’s do this. Let’s face this fear and eliminate it for once and all.

I have read somewhere that if you’re in doubt of doing something that is good for you (Only He knows), that you out of nowhere can come up with 1001 excuses of not doing it, it is the devil works. Satan will not want you to do any good, anything at all not even picking up the rubbish on the road. The devil love it when you become useless.

May Allah protects us all. May Allah gives us strength to fight their demotivating whispers.