Bismillah.
I have finally graduated in Architecture with honors last 18th. It was one of the most important days in my life; perhaps second after my birthday as I felt like reborn again on that date. Reborn as a new individual that Allah knows what I had to go through to survive the process -to be the chosen one again.
After graduating, I decided to pursue Master but I got lost when I went through the list to choose the course-the right one. To put it in the actual context, I was scared that I might choose the wrong path; again. I was scared I would have to spend another 1-2 years of doing something that I would end up disliking and abandoning it;again. And the most, I was scared to be wrong; again.
I spent few days researching on each potential field and weeks thinking it all over again -why it might be the one, where am I after 2 years, who and what. I prayed, I studied and I reconsidered. Despite that much effort, time and thinking I had invested, I haven't yet make my final call.
This week, I brought in my friend to my place for a couple of nights since we are going back home together this time and her house contract has expired two days ago. She kept complaining the possibility of bumping into my landlord at my house -that she would be uncomfortable and scared of getting scold since her previous landlord used to be strict about bringing guest over to her house.
"Takut la Hajar,"
"Eh macam mana kalau dia datang, takutlah aku,"
"Eee takut lah camne ni,"
I had to stop her from uttering the word "takut" since I felt that "takut" vibe had slowly gotten into my mind; bit by bit. I told her those laws were created by man and what was there for man to be scared of their own species? I told her this and that that she had stopped spreading that negative vibe. We feel more at ease now for any worst scenario. We assume, expect and prepare for it -is our plan.
That, I thought to myself, is the answer that I was looking for. I shouldn't be afraid of failing. Failure is part of learning process. I will and is going to fail again in my life. It will happen again and again that it is unavoidable at any cost. Instead, I should be looking at ways to cope with failure and learn from it. That is one way to grow stronger. Use failure as a ladder to success, not letting the failure to decide whether you can be successful or not. Assume, expect, prepare, expect again.
Today, I have decided to take a break from writing here that I will start another journey of collecting reflection through physical journal. I hope I can find myself again.
I will be back again, when I am ready.
I have finally graduated in Architecture with honors last 18th. It was one of the most important days in my life; perhaps second after my birthday as I felt like reborn again on that date. Reborn as a new individual that Allah knows what I had to go through to survive the process -to be the chosen one again.
After graduating, I decided to pursue Master but I got lost when I went through the list to choose the course-the right one. To put it in the actual context, I was scared that I might choose the wrong path; again. I was scared I would have to spend another 1-2 years of doing something that I would end up disliking and abandoning it;again. And the most, I was scared to be wrong; again.
I spent few days researching on each potential field and weeks thinking it all over again -why it might be the one, where am I after 2 years, who and what. I prayed, I studied and I reconsidered. Despite that much effort, time and thinking I had invested, I haven't yet make my final call.
This week, I brought in my friend to my place for a couple of nights since we are going back home together this time and her house contract has expired two days ago. She kept complaining the possibility of bumping into my landlord at my house -that she would be uncomfortable and scared of getting scold since her previous landlord used to be strict about bringing guest over to her house.
"Takut la Hajar,"
"Eh macam mana kalau dia datang, takutlah aku,"
"Eee takut lah camne ni,"
I had to stop her from uttering the word "takut" since I felt that "takut" vibe had slowly gotten into my mind; bit by bit. I told her those laws were created by man and what was there for man to be scared of their own species? I told her this and that that she had stopped spreading that negative vibe. We feel more at ease now for any worst scenario. We assume, expect and prepare for it -is our plan.
That, I thought to myself, is the answer that I was looking for. I shouldn't be afraid of failing. Failure is part of learning process. I will and is going to fail again in my life. It will happen again and again that it is unavoidable at any cost. Instead, I should be looking at ways to cope with failure and learn from it. That is one way to grow stronger. Use failure as a ladder to success, not letting the failure to decide whether you can be successful or not. Assume, expect, prepare, expect again.
Today, I have decided to take a break from writing here that I will start another journey of collecting reflection through physical journal. I hope I can find myself again.
I will be back again, when I am ready.
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