Bismillah.
Sharina and I boarded Eastmidlands train for Sheffield to attend our friends’ eid open house on that cloudy Wednesday. We were sitting there, on the table seat, looking at our phone screen. We had a small talk on our future career before the train went further to north. I looked out to the green field that became part of our journey’s view that noon, smiling to myself as I realized I am at the peak phase of my life. One final exciting youth phase: adulting and working. At least this was what my 12-years old keened to achieve; a total independent of living.
I guess the scariest thing of being an adult are making mistake, meeting people's expectation and commitment. I have been told by teachers that it is okay to make mistake as a student, you learn from the mistake and it is part of your journey. Yes it is. But as an adult, people will expect you to make less mistake. You are that person who have been living for more than 20 years that you should know way around this life -is the expectation of people around you.
"first and second are mistakes, third is your own choice"
When kids made mistake, poople will put the blame on their parents. When it is adult, the condition flips the other way around. Because you are at the age to be able to differentiate between black and white. Well I don't blame this kind of view, but definitely as someone who are going to be part of this group, I am scared and terrified. Long term mistake is the worst. Now that I am done with my architecture, I have became more wary of choosing the next path. Marriage, career, housing loan and the list goes on.
Commitment. Hm. Guess I am not ready for any commitment yet. No, not now. Well, at least until next year where I need to decide whether to make study or job commitment; hard ain't it is. As if commitment is essential for you to keep moving and living. Well there's one commitment that has been with us since day one; religion commitment. These days, having to wake up at 2.30-4 am after going to bed at 12pm is a bit of challenging. This morning, as I woke up, I thought to myself; what really motivate me to wake up this early? Is it just to tick off daily-to-do list as a muslim or because I really want to meet and talk to Him?
There are too many thoughts I have in my mind at this moment, now that I own time freedom. I just want to take this slowly, at my own pace, making less "silly" mistakes but more "real" mistakes, signing up to "worth-it" commitment and keeping up with my own expectation than others; then I am good on my own (i guess so?).
Sharina and I boarded Eastmidlands train for Sheffield to attend our friends’ eid open house on that cloudy Wednesday. We were sitting there, on the table seat, looking at our phone screen. We had a small talk on our future career before the train went further to north. I looked out to the green field that became part of our journey’s view that noon, smiling to myself as I realized I am at the peak phase of my life. One final exciting youth phase: adulting and working. At least this was what my 12-years old keened to achieve; a total independent of living.
I guess the scariest thing of being an adult are making mistake, meeting people's expectation and commitment. I have been told by teachers that it is okay to make mistake as a student, you learn from the mistake and it is part of your journey. Yes it is. But as an adult, people will expect you to make less mistake. You are that person who have been living for more than 20 years that you should know way around this life -is the expectation of people around you.
"first and second are mistakes, third is your own choice"
When kids made mistake, poople will put the blame on their parents. When it is adult, the condition flips the other way around. Because you are at the age to be able to differentiate between black and white. Well I don't blame this kind of view, but definitely as someone who are going to be part of this group, I am scared and terrified. Long term mistake is the worst. Now that I am done with my architecture, I have became more wary of choosing the next path. Marriage, career, housing loan and the list goes on.
Commitment. Hm. Guess I am not ready for any commitment yet.
There are too many thoughts I have in my mind at this moment, now that I own time freedom. I just want to take this slowly, at my own pace, making less "silly" mistakes but more "real" mistakes, signing up to "worth-it" commitment and keeping up with my own expectation than others; then I am good on my own (i guess so?).
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