Yesterday, I went to Manchester for a BFG daurah. I was sleeping in the train when a group of guys boarded the train and two of them sat next to me, the only girl at that table seats. They were loud, probably discussing about this one sports event, which was not that clear yet disturbing that I could hear the noise through my earpods. I gave up pretending to sleep that I took out my tablet from my navy blue bag. I looked out to the window and started to draw this spectacular view of green field scenery but didn't manage to finish it up within 30 mins that I had to dropped off immediately soon after.
I decided not to do anything anymore to the drawing after few attempts adding details to it by using this pinterest image as reference, but it didn't turn out as lively as I wanted it to be; even appeared more "awkward".
Well, I love what I see through my eyes, and that love is my drive for the drawing. Lack of drive can be the reason for its lacking of aesthetic value. And that morning, when I was drawing, my heart whispered; i miss architecture. I smiled widely.
True it is, to love is not necessary to possess. It's hurt to be honest, cus there were times I thought "maybe if I gave more of my best it will work". But to stay in this toxic relationship, where I fought for things that weren't meant for me, it is all meaningless. You need to know your limit, I said to myself that I can't keep hurting myself anymore. It is a cruel, selfish and unkind behaviour.
Never thought I am going to be this emotional over breaking up with architecture but yes I do feel sad.
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