Bismillah.
I have been working for almost a year to develop a boreout syndrome day by day since last month. To pull myself out of that blackhole, I filled the loophole with the catching-up session with friends, visiting relatives, investing on new hobbies, learning sth new and planning for future, on weekends, after-work and even on interval breaks during working hours. But it was still there and my heart ached with my passiveness.
Last weekend, I attended an activism programme where I met my UKmates, Aida. She offered me a ride, from Shah Alam to Putrajaya, for my lunchdate with my 61 Beeston housemates. Along the way, we had a typical catching-up conversation and I was happy to learn on her gradual development since last time I met her few months ago.
"How's work going on?" That common question I will receive from someone who rarely see me. I smirked before I gave the same answer to anyone this past 1-2 months. "Things are good. But I have started to feel tired out of it, there's lack of fun in doing it." "It's good and I am grateful but yknow," I was once again trying to emphasis the boreout syndrome while painting "I'm good, don't worry" impression to her.
Aida steered her car to the changing lane attentively that I thought she didn't hear to my reply. Not until she looked at me, raised her eyebrows to the confession and returned to me, "Well, I feel the same too so I talked to my supervisor. He told me that it is 'a common phase for man of our age'. Orang muda darah muda jiwa muda."
I did received lots of advice and motivational texts/speech from friends/relatives once I opened up to them. But it hit differently when Aida shot me directly, with responsibility word.
"We are being tested with responsibility at this phase. Kalau kau faham maksud responsibility, kau memang akan pikul suka ke tak, bosan ke tak, susah ke senang."
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A few weeks before, I had wanted to write on passiveness versus patience. My mind was wandering around, if I am actually a passive instead of patience individual for staying on this job despite the shortcoming. I can't win the battle by staying passive. Battle of Badr was not won on passiveness but patience. Earlier today once again I gave a thought on which element I am currently diving into.
Passive- accepting or allowing what happens or what others do, without active response or resistance.
Patience- the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.
If I recall the patience attitude as potrayed by Rasulullah SAW during his da'wah work, he accepted and tolerated the torture, the denial, the negative responses came from Kafir Quraisy, but there was not a day he quitted his da'wah. Eventually, he kept on driving his da'wah work towards active development. If Rasulullah SAW decided on passiveness as his stance, the history of Islam wouldn't record a victory on Constantinople, and many other great all-time victories.
By being given an enlightenment on the difference between passive and patience, I do feel better at keeping the current job, at least until the contract ends. This is not the best, but this is the better option of all and it does make me a better person ever since, that one element matters the most.
My fav dua' of all time -for Allah to place me anywhere as long as it keeps me closer to Him.
And He blessed me with this one:) how else should I be other than grateful?
🥀
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