Bismillah.
"Today, I give up. I give up to my temptation, I said, okay do whatever you want Hajar, I don't care anymore of the aftermath."
Once in a month I find that menstrual cycle is one of the hardest tests on my iman. During menstruation period, the routine ibadah is no longer a routine and the temptation is least controllable.
I- Morning routine
I usually wake up at 530-6 but during this red period, I find it is truly hard to stick to my morning routine. As a morning person, this small changes to my morning routine did affect me. I suddenly felt my golden working hour had passed and there was not many I could do for that day, or might as well skipped the whole day since it was too late already to work.
II- Temptation
I have always used menstruation hormone as a reason to give up on my irregular temptation. People around me get used to this one of my excuses.
"I makan banyak sebab I lost a lot of blood."
"Cramping, xboleh nak buat kerja nak tengok movie je."
"Mood I tak stabil hari ni, boleh tak I tak nak buat apa-apa."
Truly, I just need something to blame for my uncontrollable temptation.
III- Sins
"Everyone sins." said a person. Which is why وَأَقِمِ الصَّلَاةَ إِنَّ الصَّلَاةَ تَنْهَى عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنْكَرِ.
I literally at one of my lowest points during this period. I thought to myself, how do I maintain consistency to my amal maaruf nahi mungkar if I can't get access to this one of my tools for strength. Oh my Lord, forgive me. forgive me for all. truly, I am a weakling. I am a sinner. Help me through this.
Today is enough. I can't forgive myself for giving up to my temptation.
"Can you please advice me? I really need help on my iman."
When I went tru this verse: وَأَقِمِ الصَّلَاةَ إِنَّ الصَّلَاةَ تَنْهَى عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنْكَرِ
"Dan dirikanlah Shalat, sesungguhnya Shalat itu mencegah dari (perbuatan- perbuatan) keji dan mungkar." the continuation to this verse had me reflected a while on my definition of ibadah.
وَلَذِكْرُ اللَّهِ أَكْبَرُ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ مَا تَصْنَعُونَ
"Akan tetapi sesungguhnya mengingat Allah adalah lebih besar. (Al-Ankabut 45)"
Truly, He will not burden women with this menstruation cycle unless to test their iman for greater rewards.
I truly hope this advice can too be beneficial to the others who experience the same struggle as I find it is to me. At times too, I figure I am a super hypocrite. I don't mean to be seem as a good person for spreading any good message but by only sharing to the others, I can also remind myself. Please, don't look up to me. at all. I am too a sinner.
"Today, I give up. I give up to my temptation, I said, okay do whatever you want Hajar, I don't care anymore of the aftermath."
Once in a month I find that menstrual cycle is one of the hardest tests on my iman. During menstruation period, the routine ibadah is no longer a routine and the temptation is least controllable.
I- Morning routine
I usually wake up at 530-6 but during this red period, I find it is truly hard to stick to my morning routine. As a morning person, this small changes to my morning routine did affect me. I suddenly felt my golden working hour had passed and there was not many I could do for that day, or might as well skipped the whole day since it was too late already to work.
II- Temptation
I have always used menstruation hormone as a reason to give up on my irregular temptation. People around me get used to this one of my excuses.
"I makan banyak sebab I lost a lot of blood."
"Cramping, xboleh nak buat kerja nak tengok movie je."
"Mood I tak stabil hari ni, boleh tak I tak nak buat apa-apa."
Truly, I just need something to blame for my uncontrollable temptation.
III- Sins
"Everyone sins." said a person. Which is why وَأَقِمِ الصَّلَاةَ إِنَّ الصَّلَاةَ تَنْهَى عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنْكَرِ.
I literally at one of my lowest points during this period. I thought to myself, how do I maintain consistency to my amal maaruf nahi mungkar if I can't get access to this one of my tools for strength. Oh my Lord, forgive me. forgive me for all. truly, I am a weakling. I am a sinner. Help me through this.
Today is enough. I can't forgive myself for giving up to my temptation.
"Can you please advice me? I really need help on my iman."
When I went tru this verse: وَأَقِمِ الصَّلَاةَ إِنَّ الصَّلَاةَ تَنْهَى عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنْكَرِ
"Dan dirikanlah Shalat, sesungguhnya Shalat itu mencegah dari (perbuatan- perbuatan) keji dan mungkar." the continuation to this verse had me reflected a while on my definition of ibadah.
وَلَذِكْرُ اللَّهِ أَكْبَرُ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ مَا تَصْنَعُونَ
"Akan tetapi sesungguhnya mengingat Allah adalah lebih besar. (Al-Ankabut 45)"
Truly, He will not burden women with this menstruation cycle unless to test their iman for greater rewards.
I truly hope this advice can too be beneficial to the others who experience the same struggle as I find it is to me. At times too, I figure I am a super hypocrite. I don't mean to be seem as a good person for spreading any good message but by only sharing to the others, I can also remind myself. Please, don't look up to me. at all. I am too a sinner.
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